Dear Friends and Family, April 26, 2010
This last week has been pretty challenging. Nothing sticks out that would MAKE it to be hard, to be honest.
Mail day was wonderful. Elder Q. saw the separate table that was set aside for my mail amd started calling it the "Elder Farnbach Birthday Extrrrrravaganza!" It is taking every bit of my willpower, Grammy & Papa, Mommy & Daddy, and Oma & Grandpa Bill not to just open those birthday packages now!
We taught some good lessons, and a fair number at that, and found some good people. But this whole week has felt a lot like plodding, and then it finished out with some weak Sabbath-Day attendance. To top it all off, President came out to do some interviews for us and decided to inspect our apartment... which was in SHAMBLES due to the amount of meetings this week. "I'll just come back." It was almost ridiculous how upset it made me. I mean, I've got 4 clean apartment awards, and now mine is probably the worst he's seen! I guess that is really where the frustration is. This past week, I've been feeling like I've not been living up to expectations, my own, my President's, or my God's. I'm not sure where it is coming from, but I've been feeling a gale of negativity this past week. It's funny, because we've just added two big skills that I think have given us a big edge. Our companionship prayers have taken on a new dimension, and President has been a real planning guru these past few weeks. I guess this is one of those times the Spirit has withdrawn to see if I'm big enough to handle this on my own. It just seems a really daunting task to overcome all my weaknesses, and in such a short time. I'm getting this second round where I'm realizing just how much work I need, and it's probably what is getting me down. So far... well, the jury is still out.
Satan has been getting really sneaky, though. I've had thoughts like "I need to write a huge detailed set of notes and spend a huge amount of time sending my brothers things to prepare them for THEIR missions! Maybe I could just go and train them up!" and then I think "You sly dog! You have me trunking out again!"
Not too much happened this week, otherwise. There were no baptisms. We are doing that the third week. Transfers are coming up. I'd say if I stayed, it would not be a surprise, and if I went, no one would be surprised either.
Anyway, I love you all. Thank you for 20 wonderful years :) The one thing that pulls me out of these little slumps is piles and piles of memories that the Spirit can sift through, and recall when occasion requires.
Elder W. Farnbach
PS Oh, also... Next week is Conference!